Follow Up

Thank you for your prayers. I've just received a call from my sister Tiana, Grandpa has just passed as well. I leave tomorrow night for California to help my family prepare for a double funeral on Friday.

A Time of Sorrow

Yesterday morning I was on the phone with my dad, so excited for the day. My anticipation of my Uncle Ritchie Elison's scheduled visit for dinner, and Emily's family joining us for a mini- family reunion, was so great that I skipped my last class to go grocery shopping. It was the only reason I was even on the phone.

Another call beeped through dad's line and he quickly hung up with me. 40 minutes later I learned that Dad had received what will probably, and hopefully, be the worst news of our lives. This shared by my family, my aunts, my uncles, and my cousins.

Our grandmother, 86 years old, died yesterday and our grandfather, 90 years old is in the hospital after a tragic and violent turn in time. For 67 1/2 years they had been devoted partners, loving parents, and honored grandparents.

Even though their age may suggest it was just their time to go. This is not that story. In fact I'm only blogging about it because I need a release and an opportunity to reach out to my family who I am so far away from.

Dear family, our hearts are knitted together. Each of us have our own spiritual faith as our foundation. But we are united in our love for one another.

I'm posting the poem Grandpa read at my wedding 7 years ago. It is how I will choose to remember him always.

Home
by Edgar Guest

It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home,
A heap o' sun an' shadder, an' ye sometimes have t' roam
Afore ye really 'preciate the things ye lef' behind,
An' hunger fer 'em somehow, with 'em allus on yer mind.
It don't make any differunce how rich ye get t' be,
How much yer chairs an' tables cost, how great yer luxury;
I ain't home t' ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o' wrapped round everything.

Home ain't a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;
Afore it's home there's got t' be a heap o' livin' in it;
Within the walls there's got t' be some babies born, and then
Right there ye've got t' bring 'em up t' women good, an' men;
And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn't part
With anything they ever used -- they've grown into yer heart:
The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore
Ye hoard; an' if ye could ye'd keep the thumb marks on the door.

Ye've got t' weep t' make it home, ye've got t' sit an' sigh
An' watch beside a loved one's bed, an' know that Death is nigh;
An' in the stillness o' the night t' see Death's angel come,
An' close the eyes o' her that smiled,
an' leave her sweet voice dumb.
Fer these are scenes that grip the heart,
an' when yer tears are dried,
Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an' sanctified;
An' tuggin' at ye always are the pleasant memories
O' her that was an' is no more -- ye can't escape from these.

Ye've got t' sing an' dance fer years, ye've got t' romp an' play,
An' learn t' love the things ye have by usin' 'em each day;
Even the roses 'round the porch must blossom year by year
Afore they 'come a part o' ye, suggestin' someone dear
Who used t' love 'em long ago, an' trained 'em jes' t' run
The way they do, so's they would get the early mornin' sun;
Ye've got t' love each brick an' stone from cellar up t' dome:
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home.

From the book "A Heap o' Livin'" ©1916

Friends, I'm going to be unavailable for the time being, I'll call when I'm ready.

Spring Is In the Air

This past Thursday we actually hit 57 degrees. It was lovely. Mena and I went out back and decided to have a little photo shoot in the tropical breeze. She was so cute! At first she wanted to show me her dancing moves which she calls “shakin’ my body”. We attempted action shots but every time she hears the camera click she stops and asks to see the picture.



We then played soccer and food stand. Food stand consists of her taking my order from the window of her playhouse and then bringing me my food. Are my children spending too much time at fast food joints? Hmmm….something to ponder.

Mena’s fits haven’t lessened in intensity but the last week has shown an improvement in frequency. She’s actually been a little doll who likes to sneak attack me with beautiful smiles.

She was also finally digesting the reason why mommy’s middle is getting bigger but then yesterday told me “There’s no baby in your tummy!” But she does love other babies and talks about her cousins and friends who have babies in their homes, so I’m not too worried. Plus, we’ve been spending a lot of time looking at Jacob’s and her baby books.

She loves to “do it herself” and be mommy’s little helper. By the time baby comes I know she’ll be a fantastic big sister.

My Raven Haired Beauty...

This is the update. I had trouble sleeping last night because of the news that it's a girl. Even though I was early for an ultrasound that would sex the baby, she was an acrobat with legs wide open. The magic three lines were there and the tech gave us a 98% chance, offering this little tidbit, "I'm saying it's a girl". I had been feeling all along that I would have another daughter, even before I conceived and was giving up hope, I knew if we ever had another child she would be a girl. So I'm not surprised at all...just a little tired.

When Mena hit her two's in stride, fear took over and I REALLY wanted another boy. One that would maybe play in the dirt, and like trucks, and perhaps spend hours outside in the summer rather than crying because "the sun blinds me!"

Though I probably wouldn't have had that boy anyway. That boy would have asked for a chemistry set for his second birthday and would be building a time machine, powered by the 4 main elements (earth, wind, fire, water) and creating historical gene maps to help pinpoint the exact date of arrival for this time machine, with his older brother by his third. What I wouldn't give for a child that begs to play outside!

So here are the dreams I shared with my friend Loralee via facebook: "...this [girl] is going to be different. I'm going to name her Lucy or, or Anne and she's going to recite The Highwayman while wearing soft summer frocks...sniff...and play with dolls...whimper...and tea sets...and she WON"T scream "Don't help me! I hate help!" (cyring softly into my own shoulder).

Also, I'm praying that this little widget will have black wavy locks like her father, and sparkling blue eyes that stay blue like her grandfather. And we are going to lean towards more soft purples in her wardrobe so as to differentiate her from the pink princess that is Baby Mena as well as a nod towards her grandmother Marie who LOVED purple. If you have any lilac infant outfits ready for the goodwill we will happily swallow our pride and accept them ;-)

If you've been under a rock...

So as you already know Allison and I are pregnant. She is approx. 10 days ahead of me in gestation but because I am a lucky NW Ohioan who can't have VBAC's I'll probably deliver before her depending on the doctor's surgical rotation.

That being said she had her ultrasound last week and found out she is having a boy. I on the other hand am having mine tonight at 6:30 and am prepared to not know a gosh darn #@#$@#$ thing! My doctors have scheduled my dating ultrasound so early! I'm only 16.5 weeks along and they don't usually date until weeks 18-20 and this is after I pushed it for three weeks. So I'm sitting her with my fingers crossed that we'll know since I'm only given 1 ultrasound by my insurance.

This is it until the end of July and this writer has got to start working on names! Especially since this my last chance to create the perfect name. I've never been shy about the fact that I've never loved my kids' names. At least aspects of them were not my first choice. And I kind of feel that a child's name is a gift, a blessing if you will, from mom (and dad too, I suppose, blech). Wish me luck that this widget is floatin' free and uninhibited!!!!

One Proud Doggie Mom!

Just a very short update for bragging purposes! This being our family blog I of course spend much time on my two beautiful children. But today I'd like to talk a little bit about my furry son.

Rudy (Rutherford B. Dogg) is our adorable Shepherd/Beagle mix who will be 4 on April 23rd. He is absolutely the best dog ever. He barks madly at the mailman who he thinks is an evil home invader but loves most people. Ok, so he doesn't really like our neighbor Earl either. But besides that he is just an easy going dog who's biggest fault is that he is almost too affectionate and loves to french kiss.

Yesterday he had an appointment at a new groomer's where my mom takes her dogs. He looked so sad when I dropped him off but was a good boy and didn't make a sound when they led him to the back. I didn't pick him up until much later in the afternoon but the woman who helped me said he was FANTASTIC! That he never made a sound and was such a good boy. She asked if he ever barked!? Then she added that, "Rudy is welcomed back anytime!"

Well...I just received a phone call not 10 minutes ago letting me know that Rudy was one of four dogs picked this week to be featured on their website. I'm as tickled as if Jacob or Mena were nominated for a Nickelodeon slime award! We mother's always know how special our little ones are, but it is so nice when others see it too...LOL!

The site is:
http://www.groomerscorner.com/Pictures.htm
they said his pic will be up after tomorrow, January 31st until February 6th

The Widget - 12 weeks...

So most of you had read my post on November 2nd about my chances of getting an insurance covered pregnancy had ended. That was as true as I knew it at that time. Then four hours later I doubled over in pain with what ended up being my appendix but at the time I thought I was dying and being punished for not appreciating the children I had. OK! OK! I SERIOUSLY thought I was dying and my mind went all over the charts because I have never been in that kind of excruciating agony in my life.

Then...two weeks later a new little life was introduced. Now most of you know this by now by word of mouth even though my husband swore me to secrecy until 12 weeks. Which little by little that promise deteriorated. The vomiting, 20 hour sleep days, and extended stomach also gave me away. I'm 5'2, even being a bit round, there's just nowhere for my uterus to go!

But the promise was made with good intentions. We've had 3 miscarriages that we know of. The last being in July. We didn't want to get too excited until week 12 because of obvious reasons especially after trying so hard for the last year. We really didn't want the kids to know because how do explain miscarriages to a 5 & 2 year-old who just love babies.

But I'm 12 weeks tomorrow and I'll have my first doctors appointment at 11:30 a.m. I'm finally allowing myself to add the baby widget I see on other friends' blogs. I'm finally getting excited!

As for insurance....here's the kicker. I'm due August 7th, my maternity insurance runs out July 31st, but because I have to have cesareans I will be delivered between July 26-28th. I will probably walk out those hospital doors just hours before my insurance runs out! The jokes on you, legal organized crime purveyors!!